An Unexpected Visit
by darkwolf76
Summary: When Mary is spending a little quality time alone with her son, she ponders her life and her trouble with moving on. Then someone pays her an unexpected visit...


**AN: I just saw the first episode of the fifth season, and it was really bitter-sweet when Mary said that she wanted to get married again. She really has changed from the grieving widow we saw last season. It really got me thinking, and I came up this little drabble to explain how she got the point of wanting to move on. Enjoy!**

Mary sat on the floor of the nursery and played with her son. He looked so much like Matthew. She could barely see herself in him really. It was a comfort and curse at the same time. It felt nice to have a little piece of the man she had loved with her still, even if he was dead and gone. Her heart did hurt a bit every time she looked into George's eyes, remembering the gaze of his father, but only a little. The searing pain that she had started to experience after Matthew's death had seemed to ebb with the passing months until it was a just dull ache. Yet, she found that she still couldn't move on.

Mary's thoughts wandered to the two men who had both recently "thrown their hats into the ring" to win her hand as her son got tired of playing and curled up next to his mother. Charles and Tony were both good men who she could see herself being happy with and who would make excellent fathers for George, but she found she couldn't reciprocate the feelings that both had claimed they were having for her. It felt too much of betrayal to Matthew. She also just couldn't see herself ever being as happy with another man as she had been with him. _'I want to move on, but I can't let go of Matthew. I'm just not ready. I don't think I ever will be,' _was her last thought as she drifted off into the peaceful darkness of sleep next to her son…

The bright sunlight pricking at her eyes and the gentle breeze on her face woke her up. She blinked and looked around in confusion as her senses discovered that she was on her and Matthew's bench on the grounds of the estate. '_How did I get out here? Last I remember I was in the nursery with George.' _Her eyes widened at the thought of her son being all alone. She suddenly shot up from her curled up place on the bench and frantically scanned her surroundings for her child. She was about to open her mouth to call out for him when her eyes fell upon a sight that she thought she would never see again.

"Hello darling," his warm voice greeted her.

"Matthew? Is that really you? But you're… you're…" Mary's started to breathe more rapidly as tears fogged up her vision.

"Even the dead can come back to visit on occasion when our loved ones really need us," Matthew stated gently as he took Mary into his arms.

"So you're not really here? All of this is just a dream?"

"I am here darling, even if it is just a dream. I needed to talk to you about something important, so I was given permission to come see you. Don't worry about George. You're still in nursery with him, and can go back to him after we've had our discussion."

"Matthew, darling, I've missed you so much!" Mary sobbed as she clutched at her husband. She clung to him tightly and buried her face into the strong chest that she never thought she would never feel again.

"I know sweetheart. I've missed you too. It won't be forever though. When your time comes, I'll be the first one to greet you. Then we'll never be without each other again. But Mary, I needed to come here to tell you something that important. You listen to me. Your time will not be coming for a while. It's all right for you to move on darling. I won't be mad. I want you to be happy."

Mary lifted her face from her love's chest to look up into his bright blue eyes. They shone with the tenderness and earnestness that they always had when they gazed upon her. He wore that gentle smile she had always loved as he wiped the tears off her cheeks.

"Wouldn't I be betraying darling? I love you too much. I have become happy again by being mother to George and running the estate. I would maybe start looking again, but I just... I don't want to lose what I had with you. I'm scared I'll betray what we had if I try to move on with someone else and that it wouldn't be the same."

"Oh my darling, nothing will ever be the same as the love we had, but that doesn't mean it can't be just as good. Mary, I will always love you and will be watching over you and George until we come together again. Nothing will ever change that. Even if you do move on to share love with some else, that won't mean you are betraying what we had or that you'll love me any less. I'm not there anymore Mary and all I ever wanted was for you to be happy. We will be together again, but not for a very long time. It's okay. Don't leave those poor chaps waiting. Live the _full_ life and have _all_ the happiness that you were meant to have darling. I'll be watching and will love you always. Just please do this for yourself, for George, for me. I have to go now. Say hello and give a kiss to our little chap for me."

With that, Matthew kissed Mary as sweetly and as deeply as he had on the night of their engagement, their wedding day, that first time in the dining room. As their lips met and melded together, Mary felt all the love Matthew had had, still had, and would always have for her. Most, importantly however, she felt peace. She would always love Matthew and he would always love her. Not even death could change that. Now she knew though that she _could _love again. She could be happy and try. She glanced into his bright blue eyes one last time and whispered "Thank you." He smiled at her lovingly as he and everything else faded away.

"Mama? Mama!" a sweet little voice called, accompanied with a light and constant patting on her head, rousing her to consciousness.

"Yes my little darling?" Mary sleepily asked her little boy.

"I hungry mama." George chirped, his bright blue eyes shining the same way the pair in her dream had.

"Well then, darling, let's go down to the kitchens and see if Mrs. Patmore can spare a biscuit or two for us, shall we?" Mary said gently as she stood up and took George's small hand in her own. The boy looked up at her with those lovely blue eyes and bright smile and nodded his head so enthusiastically that Mary had to let out a laugh. As she and her son were exiting the nursery and she turned to shut the door, Mary swore she could see the shadow of man flicker for just a moment in the corner. It smiled and nodded at her in that one instant, and then it was gone. Mary smiled to herself, shutting the door. As led her son through the halls and down the stairs of Downton one thought entered her head.

'_I'm ready.'_


End file.
